KARMA

Dunia punya cerita...
Akhirat tak tahu lagi bagaimana...

Selepas satu demi satu incident yang berlaku tanpa diduga tetapi hints nya sudah terpancar, namun tiada kesedaran dari dalam "mata hati" ini. Maka dengan kuasaNya, berlakulah incident tersebut....

"Bila sudah terhantuk, baru terasa sakit"

Apa pun..., penerimaan dengan hati terbuka serta redha dan akur atas incident tersebut... Kekesalan bukan itu perasaan yang dirasai tetapi, alpa atau lupa akan kehadiran hints yang diberikanNya...

Penerimaan dengan hati yang terbuka, redha dan tenang yang berlaku sekarang.... Namun, nun jauh dihati kecil berkata...;
"Kenapa begitu bodoh, leka bermain dengan permainan dunia, serta berpandang rendah terhadap hints yang diberikan..?"

Dipenghujungnya... Inilah yang dikatakan "manusia" kepuasan yang tiada batasan.., tamak dan bermegah dengan permainan serta harta dunia, cuai, dan kesimpulannya kesempurnaan sememangnya tidak layak untuk dimiliki oleh manusia dimuka bumi yang suci ini....

Inilah masa yang amat sesuai untuk mengenali diri sendiri dengan lebih mendalam dan juga masa yang amat terbaik untuk merehatkan tubuh dan minda secara tenang...

The Last Chapter...

Will it be the very last chapter after all what had happened ?? - I wonder...

Gambar seperti yang dimuat-naik ke dalam lelaman blog ini bukan bertujuan untuk tontonan umum semata2, tetapi ada masuk tersirat disebalik gambar tersebut.... Keluhan demi keluhan... Jiwa yang memberontak, minda yang berserabut dengan aura laungan suara2 dan bunyik2an yang bercampuran menusuk laju ke gegendang telinga.....

Mungkin dengan memuat naik gambar seperti yang disebut dapat memberi ketenangan dan atau memberi satu pembayang tentang keadaan sebenar si penulis blog ini dan atau mungkin juga ianya adalah sebagai suatu sumber inspirasi bagi pembaca blog ini - jika ada...

Apa pun tangapan daripada pembaca terhadap statement seperti diatas, hanya si penulis saja yang tahu akan maksud tersirat disebalik gambar yang dimuat-naik kan kedalam lelaman blog ini....

Wow!!
Intro yang kompleks, merepek serta umpama mencari perhatian dari para pembaca.. - whatever...

Memang sudah sekian lama diri ini menghilangkan diri dari lelaman blog ini. Bukan sibuk dengan urusan kerja rutin harian dan atau sibuk dengan hubungan social yang tiada batasan tetapi, secafa jujurnya diri ini hampir hanyut dibawa arus kehidupan tiada batasan tatakala berseronok, bergembira, dan apa sahaja sehingga lah datangnya suatu fenomena yang memberhentikan kaki ini berhenti seketika untuk berfikir dalam masa 15saat-ralat atau system shocking dan mungkin kejutan anjakan pemikiran.

Ketika dan saat terjadinya situasi tersebut umpama gempa bumi yang tersangat kuat gegarannya.. tsunami mungkin.. dan atau gunung berapi dengan muntahan larva seperti paip air pecah.. - sememangnya tiada apa yang boleh diungkapkan dengan perkataan hanya perasaan yang... Haissshhh (keluhan) saja boleh disuarakan....

"Adakah ini jalan CERITA yang terakhir atau adakah ini PENUTUP bagi CERITA yang sedang dilayarkan?"

kemurungan..
Tekanan..
Hilang fokus..
Hilang jati diri dan semangat..

Itulah apa yang dirasai ketika dalam situasi tersebut. Kekesalan mulai terasa..tetapi adakah ianya dapat memberi kesedaran dan serta keinsafan keatas apa yang telah dilakukan sebelum ini.?

I am back...

Hi readers..
Its been a long while i leave this blog.. think its more than 3month...

Anywy..,
Im back now...

As for now... Just to share some of new photo of mine... And i'll be in kl on Nov 26... I've something to settle down back there...

Salam Lebaran..

Salam Lebaran Minal Aidil Wal Faizin

salam lebaran untuk semua....

actually kan.. i'm totally blank and dont know what too write. too many things to express in here from deepest of my heart. sweet moments n even the unfortunate events. so i think would it much better to leave it in peace back in my heart.

whenever i hear the Takbir Raya, i will cry but in second thought... "lets move on.." leaving every past in my live behind and keep on walking.. exploring n expossing more in this holly earth so i can fulfill n interpret it in here..

ermmmmm....
where should i begin.... i wonder... kinda stress actually...

the path is getting darker and more darker and dull... i'm loosing faith of myself in luv hunting... is that really true which i am a hopeless romantice...? or i'm the one that hopless in my own life... - der!!!

aduhaiii!!! what s happening here... owhmannnn...!!!

long time ago... i am seeking for luv.. and now... i'm not trusting myself to luv and to give luv... or to be luv wif...

ayoyo..!!!

or... am i..... errrmmm..... ??????

amyway....
to all my readers;
Salam Lebaran Minal Aidil Wal Faizin, Maaf Zahir & Batin. Lots of kisses n a very big hug to all..!!

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Am I Hopeless Romantice!!????

July 26, 2012 Thur 0230

i'm gettin bored back in my home town.... whatever i want and planned to be happened, all spoiled. things getting out of hand. sad-that's for sure.. errmmm... heart broken-indeed.. and bored...

am i born to be alone and to be failure in loves...perhaps  hopeless  romantice..!???
am i!!?????

p/s:
totally not in the mood...

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I am a failure..

July 22nd 2012 and its Saturday midnite..

Yup!! I am a failure in love hunting...
damn me...

feeling down now...
my heart broken into pieces once again after almost a year away from love hunting..

well....
that's all for today...

I Love You..

its Thursday, July 19 2012....

its been almost 48hours HE keep in silent... what's this mean.. aawww!! i'm so missed him so much... everything happened in short time.

allow me to bring you my dearest readers back to where me and HIM get started...

actually... a little long time ago, i found HIM in one of abnormal social network (which the name of that network i refuse to write it down). we chat and we exchange FB's. later then, i make the 1st moved to meet him up.. but HE kinda refused and put up an excuses. well then.. i back off for a moment just for the sake of giving HIM more space and on top of it to respect HIS decision's

until one fine day.. i go back to that social network again just for browsing and trying to get any person that i can talk with. in sudden i saw HIM and i give it a shot.. expect from the unexpected.. we chat and chat until i made my move to meet HIM for the second time. i trust my guts 'this time i wont let it go off again from me'. everything is unexpected.. i'm coming back to my hometown due to something at the sametime, HE agree to meet up.. wow!! i feels so wonderful at that time and deep inside my heart were saying 'he is the one'.

so.. we meet up.. we talk and had a bite. seems like everything fine and happened perfectly... until there is a moments when we're together, HE talk about HIS past relationships. quite a sad story and very touched specially the moments HE and HIS 3rd lover.. aawwww...

but somewhere in the middle.. HE said, HE still love HIS 3rd lover and wish on one fine day HIS 3rd lover will coming back to HIM. my heart was... i don't know what and how to describe but.. ermmm... (you how does it feel.. i bet you know..) but it never stop me to approach and to try harder to win HIS heart and HIS love as well. referring to his story the chances of HIS 3rd lover to coming back to HIM and my chances to win is 50-50..

so i step further more to win this War of Love. which i propose to HIM with The Ring of The Year. i made him shocked and silent from the proposal place untill we reach at HIS house. in my head were saying.. "am i doing the right move..?" then my guts telling me "it is what it meant to be and so be it. because i've done my part and move on". i felt guilty because in the second thought i might propose to HIM at the wrong time but i've no others choices-before its too late and i'm gonna regret for my whole life and no way! for that.

well ever since that day, i continue my daily live.. until one day we out for light dinner and HE borrow my gadget to keep on update HIS fb's. then.. HE scream with happy face saying HIS 3rd lover accept HIS friend request but HE worry if HIS 3rd lover might invisible in that fb's relationship as what HIS 3rd done before.

i felt so painfull. its killing me. feels so very sad but i never show to HIM. awhman...!! i dont know now... kinda blank or hanging somewhere of unknown place.. and the worst part is.. its been almost 48 hours HE didn't text me either via sms nor fb's inbox msg.

i am so scared now..

scared to loose HIM. scared to be alone again.. i feels like to text HIM but... i dont know...

in the proposal i said;

"i know you its hard for you at this moments but  listen to me carefully.. if it's true he that you love and you want to get back to him, go for it. i will support you from your back but if the otherway round, you know what to do. i will wait for you. always. no matter what. i want you to be happy and i want you to move on. dont just sitting there with doing nothing hopping for miracle to brighten your day. move on sayang. i really love you even it took my breath away, i will love you and i never stop loving you."

then HE give the ring back to me and keep it in silent with HIS very sad face...

i am so lost of my track now. hanging somewhere in the middle of no where and dont know what to do in the dark. i cant think anything else. i cant move my body.

"it's happening again am i right..?"

seeking for my silver lining now.. its must be somewhere around... it must be!!

if you reading this..

i just want to tell you that i really love you and i never stop loving you. i do. and i really do even it took my breath away i will never stop loving.

I LOVE YOU *A**H** IS**IL..!!
I LOVE YOU..!

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knowing me was it a waste..?

readers..
.. somes people out there whom may or may not knowing me well and whatsoever have said,

"he is the strongest person that i ever met and or i ever known in my whole life. although he is  skinny but his spirit, his heart are strongest than you ever imagine. and although he made peoples around him smiling and laughing like a mad man, inside him self, he is crying and screaming like a baby thirstying milk. he sacrifying his live, his precious sentimental value and even everything that he had just  for the sake of peoples around him to be happy that they ever imagine. gambling his live and with God will's is part of his most favourite game. no one see his tears. no one hear his screaming nor his crying as well. no one ever notice he in the 'black' face or perhaps in down-mood situation. he always fooling around, smilling, make fun with peoples and entertained them with full of love from the very bottom of his heart."

that is what peoples said. as myself...  i can only smile. no words nor phrases may describes my feelings towards all these peoples around me. i always put myself last in every situation i'm facing through. i didn't want anything in good return not even a respect nor a very tiny-minie compliments and or small tolken from them. but i do hope they all will be happy and smilling  always in their daily life. forget me, if you please. smile but not cry for my disappearence of my existance. as i'm walking straight without turning back myself and catch my breath.

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I back to "SQUARE"

here i am in the early wednesday morning updating my silly Life Interpretation..
LOVE! its so wonderful and beautiful but with LOVE also humans suffered and no doubt if found dying in suicide.
may be i am so right about myself "hopeless romantice" because in everytime i met and trying damn hard to fight for my love, its end up the other way round as i expected. failure and more failure.. i never win in my own war of love.
am i so weak to fight for it..? or it because of PLU's love never end up as what we expect it to be..? or perhaps because i am hopless romantice and put too much hope on it..?
if you (who not to be named) read this statement...

i just want to let you know.. i do love you from the very bottom of my heart. i do and i really do. i never stop loving you even it took my breath away, i will never stop loving you.. never..
this is my 2nd time i'm so down untill i cry because of love. its hurting so badly but, if true the happiness that can be found from him, go for it. i will support you from your back. but if the otherway round, i always here waiting for you. i always here.. and always waiting for you no matter what you are.. i accept you as what you are..
i love you..

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mood change...

dear readers.. (if there is any..)

i know... its been quite a long while i've been away from my silly blog...
as usual... been busy with work and my life lately....

anyway....
just to share with the silly movement which the origin main point was to have fun and to make people around me cheer up a bit but... it end up with something that totally unexpected happened...
i shouldn't do that from the 1st place.. but like i said earlier... it just for fun n it meant nothing only just for fun...

it's human decision, interpretation and human perception..
feeling guilty..? i am feeling guilty... but i've done part to apologized of my wrong doing and or of my unacceptable impolite manner of build up a new relationship...

silly me....
but it's ok....
perhaps that such persons having a hard time on that particular moment's or busying of doing something that important to that such person future or task given by.

believe me...
i meant nothing of my wrong doing to you...
i meant for fun... just for a joke.. to cheer up..
but if you found it totally unacceptable...
sorry i am...
you've your right to punish me which ever equal to my wrong doing or whatsoever..
as myself...
i've done my part to apologize..
i am sorry that's all i can say...
peace...

the BIG n DRASTICALLY changes..

after a long while away from the internet and from this blog...

finally i've a time to pampered myself to write and to express and or to share my feelings and so what had happen to me during my absent in writing. kinda missed my Human Expression because of time was too limited until I've no time to myself.

Here I am.. sitting in-front of my laptop writing in Human Expression my only one blog.

for the past 2month ago, there is so many things happened. Good things and also bad things as well. In the end, I still and catch-up my breath and to stretch my leg so I can continue my journey again.

I still remember when I had a very bad time bout my financial. It was a very bad and worst experience that i ever had in my life before. But, I manage to deal with it in a proper and wide range manner. to be frank, as for  now I still in process controlling and managing my financial issues with my expectation and estimation, it will be last within 3 month effective from march 2012. I supposed every human living in this world wish to be free from financial crisis.. so now I am walking towards that. should i get back in this blog after 3 month as said above.

life without problem and obstacles will be very much boring, like flatten line. Apart from financial crisis, love and life crisis are some sort like an additional abstract or design to make life more beautiful. So why some peoples out there still keep on saying... "life is not fair". for me life is fair enough to us only we not fair to our life...

if life not fair to us, there is not such of happy ending, sadness and much more.. i mean.. in every difficult time we had in our life journey, there is some part of ends, we gain a happiness which we didn't realized it but we do realize all the bad things instead.

well...

i supposed it's about time for me to put a full-stop and should i continue in next time I'm online. its about time for me to rest my mind and my body so i can be more fresh on my upcoming adventure...

see you soon...

unforgettable moments...

"kekadang biler org yg paleng kiter sayang da tglkn kiter wat slamernyer.. idop ni jd sunyi SEPI... umpama sampan yg xberdayung, ditiop angin ke hulu dan mungkin ke hilir di lautan terbentang luas...
kat maner kiter nk ngadu penat kiter, marah kiter, bermanjer dan mungkin dimanjer kan.. berseronok, menangis.. bersuke ria...

adakah teman baru dan atau teman yg sedia ada dpt memahami diri kiter?? dapat tahan dengan kerenah kiter?? dan yg paleng terpenting skali.. adakah mereka tu smua (teman baru/yg sedia ada) senantiasa bersama dgn kiter pabila kiter memerlukan mereka....?"

aieshshariff da penat...
da penat kesunyian..
kesepian...
keseorangan...
da terlalu penat sesgt....

tangis n tawe aieshshariff xkan ader sesape yg tawu...
luaran saja org nmpk aieshshariff nie "giler", hepi...
senantiase tersenyum riang...

hakikatnyer....
hanya diri ini n org yg tlah tiada saje yg tawu.....


actually...
every year on Oct 4th - Oct 7th/8th aieshshariff akan kuar johor xkira kemana... jnji aieshshariff akan berjauhan utk sementara waktu daripada kengkawan yg rapat, agak rapat, kengkwn yg biaser2 jek.. or who ever noe me....

the reason is because...
in every of my birthday eve, on birthday and after the day...
there is sumthing bad wil happen to me and to any of my frens yg ader bersama aieshshariff ketika itu..
they will get the tempiasnyer...

INI BUKAN 1 REKAAN..
tp bnde ni da terjadi...
and biaser nyer aieshshariff xakan beri tawu sesape pn even my own fmly kemana aieshshariff g on that dat particular day...
aieshshariff cume ckp aieshshariff on holiday... that's all..
my handphone, email or any social network, i will shut it down..
in another words should i claim.. MIA for a moment.

but this year quite different from previous2 yr...

every year it will 3 bad things happen to me... but this year.. only 2 bad things.. the final one not yet...
i'm expecting sumting bazaar will happen...

i trust my guts..
and it's telling me.. it's close but not too close enough...
aieshshariff da ader reser...
aieshshariff xbley tdo semalam.. tetiber raser awkward.. tetiber ilang focus... feelin down in sudden without any reason..
before this it happen to me and it end up right after 4days of my birthday whereby i've lost my very big precious in my life..
this year da more than 3days.. i'm kinda scared which i might or will loosing for more worst and superb bazaar in my life...
i wonder....

all this happen and start on my childhood year.. i was 7years old dat time.. very young.. very energetic... very healthy..

FIRST
my fmly n i live in soe place called "Jeng Qui" a medium cost kinda apartment with 2 storey. 3rooms and only 1 room my fmly rent it out to out sider.. there is a "Mamat Bujang" named Abg Haris. he all alone in that room. til 1 fine day.. maser all my family xder kat uma only left me n my elder sister. (she sleeping her room that time...)

so, abg haris nie called me and offered me to read some books in his rooms. (i luv reading... luv it so much til now i still luv reading books..)
so..
aieshshariff pon masok dlm bilik dia and as he said.. reading books..
i dun noe what kind of book that i read dat time...
while i'm reading.. abg haris tros tanggalkan sua pendek  aieshshariff.. maser tu he asked me to sit on the chair yg ada dlm bilik tu...
aieshshariff memang tak prasaan before i came into his room he already half-naked..
once he pull down my pant's, dia tros menggesek-gesekkan kemaluan dia dicelah kelengkang aieshshariff....

what will happen after dat...  aieshshariff da xingat..
what i did remember.. abg haris did gave me rm20 sen (time tu RM20sen besar sgt mcm rm5 as for now)
while he said "abg! (he my nick's), jgn kasi tawu sesape taw.. ingat k..!!"

i was 7YEARS OLD!!
what do u aspect..??
that time happen exactly on my birthday..
Oct 6th...
now aieshshariff da ber umor 32years...

SECOND
i was 13 years old..
at our new house in Taman Perling - Kg Teluk Serdang Pinggir (rumah setinggan).
My dad buta huruf, xtawu membaca and he werk in Pasar as tukang sembelih ayam... there is a moment.. the day before my birthday (Oct 5th)
my mom wanted to do some small celebration on my birthday.. she cooked me nasi ayam cos i luv ayam goreng crazily..
so my dad pun tangkap ayam peliharaan kami.. and sembelih it... he need an assistant to sembelih dat ayam...
(aieshshariff anak yg ke 2 dlm 3 adeq bradeq time tu...)
so he ask me to hold some parts of that chicken while he wanted to sembelih it... i'm too scared wif blood.. so..
mase pisau tu da sampi kat leher ayam tu.. aieshshariff tutop mater and ntah cam maner ayam tu struggling and aieshshariff teraser gesek kan pisau tu teraser sesgt kat leher ayam tu and tangn aieshshariff terlepas drpd holding that particular part.. so ayam tu struggling on the ground wif pancutan darah yang mcm paip air pecah... til muker aieshshariff terkne percikan darah ayam tu..
aieshshariff tergamam n tros lari masok dlm uma..
mak aieshshariff terperanjat and ask me what's wrong..?
aieshshariff xckp paper tros mandi and pas mndi aieshshariff tros masok dlm bilik...
time tu aieshshariff terdengar..
ayah berbual dgn mak.. and there is phrase yg aieshshariff  tak kan luper sampi mati..
he said "hhmmm!! ade anak lelaki pon xbley harap..."

what do u feels if u hear that phrase from ur dat o mom???

7days aieshshariff xmkn.. aieshshariff bebtol traser ati...
mak pujok aieshshariff.. but ati aieshshariff keras.. ati aieshshariff tegeng.. ego aieshshariff tinggi...
till arwah atok aieshshariff yg pujok aieshshariff.. (arwah tok stay in spore..) riter after mak bgtau arwah tok bout what happen.. arwah tok tros dtg jb n pujok  aieshshariff...
dekat 2 minggu arwah tok stay in jb..

dats y law sesape yg maki or kutok sumting bout my dad.. aieshshariff tak traser langsong.. but not my Arwah atok.. aieshshariff akan ngamok giler...

THIRD..
after 3days of my birthday..
aieshshariff hilang org yg paleng aieshshariff sayang..
Arwah atok meninggal...
arwah nenek meninggal 7 days before arwah atok meninggal,

aieshshariff kat pejabat..
maser tu aieshshariff keje kat Kilang Flextronics Industry (M) Sdn. Bhd. at Tampoi Industrial Estate as HR & Admin Assistant..
aieshshariff kene OT mlm tu..
arwah nenek meninggal pon dpt cuti 1 ari jek...
mase tu la aieshshariff raser exactly as what i felt rite now..
feelin so down in sudden..
so lonely...
sunyi sepi sgt2...
kwn2 plak tu smuanyer bz dgn hidup masing2...
aieshshariff xsalah kan kwn2  aieshshariff ...
they all pon ade life dorg sndrik..
cumer time tu traser sesgt mcm xder sesape kat dunia nie...
suddenly, abg sdarer aieshshariff call from spore..
telling me arwah atok da meninggal atas sejadah after solat maghrib with my abg sdarer...

sori..
aieshshariff ter lalu pilu n sedey segt nk tros kan citer nie..
i'm crying while typing...
terlalu banyak sgt kenangan aieshshariff dgn arwah atok..
terlalu bnyk sgt..
aieshshariff xbley nk tros kan...

i've found you...

Feb 29 2012

0248hrs

i've been away again this time around.. a little while i guest... hehe.. anyhow now i come back.. after what i've been through all the life obstacles, amd now i come back here again in Human Expression..

kinda missed writing in my silly blog actually but, what can i do.. been to busy with my life and clearing unwanted and unwelcome issues and matters cluttering in my mind. in the end... i have found 'you' (who not to be name-you know who you are)

yup!! indeed!!

i am in love again. hopefully this time will be lasting..

i love you dear.. i do and i really do...

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Thinking too much bout u.. my love..

I've been thinking too much bout you.. all the time... every where and any where... I am so crazy bout you... indeed I am..

Its happening again... owhman....

still remmbr someone said to me.. "dude!! you are nothing but just a silly hopeless romantic skinny boy hopping and for the true love and miracle which is not gonna happen.."

....aaargghhhhh!!!!

I don't know!! may be I am...

all this while I've been cheated with so many peoples surround me...in life, families, friendship, money matters, business, relationship and much more.

I am silly-skinny-boy...

kinda down mood actually.. with family matters mixed it well with my health... owhmannnn... I really need inner strenght.. more powerful than before... but I don't know... somes of my buddy saying.. "bro! u are strong enough to face it through.. if you dont, you wouldn't come up to this level. I am proud of you!!"

what a words... but deep inside me... I am crying and screaming... I don't know how long can I hold it... feels like to giving it up.... I had enough... I am loosing myself.. is the sign of.....

mmmmmm.......

"duhai sang penata hati.... bantu lah hambaMu ini...!!!"

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I Finally Found You...

well.. well... well..... look like I've been away again from Human Expression but for a little while I supposed. Been a nasty life lately and on top of it, a precious moment lead me to the bright path. Do hope this is the one  that I'm looking for..what I desire most.

Big day await me at the edge of my nasty life path.. yup!! indeed I am so right this time.

actually I'm kinda spinnin headed of where to begin... hurmmmmm... I wonder... or perhaps its not the time yet for me to write down...

well....

lets give it another few days and will see how does it goes...

(^_^)

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another liar!!

seriously... i don't understand.. why must peoples lie from one to  another..?

can't just be yourself.. n speak the truth!!?

indeed!!

truth is very painfull but that is the fact and people have to take it wheather he/she may or might like it or not...

just be yourself..

and speak the truth...

p/s:-

thi msg or text is general.. means nothing just pointing out to those lyer who love to lie!!

stop being someone else n keep on lying to others peoples speficically to innocent peoples in this world... stop lying you idiot!!

moron!!

stop it!!

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I'm so down now...

ramai yg ketika ini dlm kegembiraan..keriangan.. dan mungkin jugak berseronok... tp diri ini.. skali lagi kesedihan... menelan pahit payau dlm mencari cinta, belaian manja dan kasih sayang dr seseorg yg sudi menerima diri ini yg serba kekurangan...

baru sebentar tadi aku update blog ini yang stlh sekian lame aku tinggalkan.... dan selepas aku sign out baru aku perasaan... dia suda berpunya... apakah erti semua ini...?

suda 8kali perasaan aku dipermainkn sebegitu mudah... hanya dengan sekelip mata shj..

tahun baru..diawal tahun... jiwa ini diguris.. luka lama berdarah kembali...

entah sampai bile aku akan dilukai aku pn xtahu...

tiada siapa yg mendengar rintihan..keluhan..jiwa ini... cume..

Huan Expression saja yg sudi menemani ku ketika saat susah,senang..
tawa n tangis hati ini.....

apa salah aku...?

apa kekurangan ku..?

ntah la....

kusut kepala ku ni...

i'm feelin lonely.....

i dun wanna b lonely...

all i want is to be luv n to luv...
dats all i ask.. n dats all i want..."

what should i do now!?

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i'm so weak..!! and I'm hopeless romantics...

lately i just came back from.. 

somewhere in Johor state..

old town.. i mean very old town.. 

but nowadays that place developing into some sort of small town

very small town..

anyway that not my point..

my point is.. 

there is something happen back there..

i been there for the reason of meeting friend.

just meeting.. 

had a cup of coffee perhaps and or 

catch some movies during my leisure time...

at first i am thinking to check-in a low cost room 

cause i'll be staying just one night and 

on the next day same about after lunch on the early evening, 

i'm heading back to my origin place..(Home).

then i change my mind..

i reach there bout 1830 

and had a walk all the way to that such person work place 

and showing myself.. which i'm in town already..

not surprising cause 

everything went well..

by 2200 we move out from that such person work place

and straight heading back to that such person house 

which located near by..

we had rest say about 10-15 minute.. 

then we had a walk some most popular place that every teens hang out at..

quite interesting place..

relaxing and enjoyable.. 

with the light of heart of the small town..

twinkling stars in the nights..

it's so beautiful..

a bit cold.. 

but.. 

i get used to it..

we talk and talk.. 

and a lot of talking..

i'm not sure what time we go back home.. 

i supposed it late.. 

its after midnight..

once we reach at home..

as usual myself before sleeping..

had smoking than go to sleep...

like i said earlier...

i meant nothing just a visit and meeting friend.. 

that all...

but in the end.. 

it end up with silly incident...

silly me...

why i say so..

here we goes...

we sleep on the same mattress, 

with one pillow and 

sharing the same blanket..

sound fishy isn't it..

after we make comfort of each other..

then we ready to sleep..

i hug that such person...

in a while...

i can't hold it any longer...

i start kissing that such person neck... 

ears.. and back of that such person body..

than it goes to lips.. 

and....

i guess you all know what happen next...

conclusion is..

yes we do it...

i don't know why i did that...

which from the first place i meant nothing...

on the next day we had a movie and 

before i heading back to my home..

we had a drink at nearby the bus terminal...

we continue talking..

by 1900 my coach is ready to move on...

it's kinda hard for me to leave that such person...

was it because we had sex that night.. 

or..

was it because i'm too easy to fall in love 

with just one sex...?

well... seriously..

i've no answer for that at this current moment..

and now...

i'm having problem with my own feeling...

kinda missed that such person..

but before i'm updating my blog.

i saw that such person photo with somebody else 

hugging...

jealous..?

i am jealous...

but.. 

that such person already remind me 

and said to me.. 

some sort like a sign or something...

"if you can't open my heart.. don't blame me"

 that is what that such person said to me...

well...

that's it...

another hopeless romantics..

just be it...

Sexy Post..

So...

sexy...

what best bout spore...

there is some of Msian friends of mine keep asking me..

"why you always go to Singapore? What's best bout Singapore..?"
and my answer is...

 the MRT station underpass

Telok Blangah Circle Line Station..

 so clean..

and that's my train..

bye.. bye..

Happy New Year..

Happy New Year everybody...

its been quite a while i'm away from Human Expression..
kinda missed my writing so much... I've been busy lately.. busy with my life, and few others stuff and some personal matters need to be settle down.. Planning to settle everything before new year.. unfortunately, there is few yet to be settle.. anyway.. what most important and urgent matters have been settle.

so little time, so many things happen...
that's all can i say..

but there is a moments for me to share with..
it was on December / November if I'm not mistaken...

I'm on my short vacation at somewhere I called a most historical grown in the world... just to refreshing my mind.. to clearing my thought and mindset so I can think even better.. hehehe.. it's some sort of releasing my tensions - perhaps..

It's a Kampung living style.. I like Kampung very much...
it's fun.. and very relaxing..
wish to stay a bit longer.. unfortunately... something came up on my way to my destination, than it goes very short vacation of the year...
but in the end... I really do enjoy my vacation..
to the landlord, thank you very much for the breakfast meal and everything...
wish to come back some other time... but i don't know when...

here is some of my memories which not to be forgotten...

 My breakfast - Nasi Lemak + Currypuff and Popia Sambal with Sesame

 antique item.. 

it's very rare to get it nowadays..

this is me...

it's early in the morning.. say bout 8am i think..

so fresh air in the morning.. very cold.. and very peaceful..

to the landlord - you know who u are..

thank you very much..

I will return in 2012.. I definitely will return...

signing off for now

from spore..